From the beginning, the narrator makes it clear that it is difficult for her to accept her condition. At one point, she remembers what John advises her not to do: "John says the worst thing you can do is think about my condition, and I admit that it still hurts me" (470) . We see here that she doesn't have the freedom she needs to deal with what would suppress her anxieties. Instead, she is ordered to lie down all day and do nothing but rest, which ultimately drives depressed people crazy. On the other hand, she declares: “Personally, I believe that a pleasant job, with enthusiasm and change, would do me good” (470). This is actually what she needs to help her deal with her anxiety. Instead, she keeps a personal journal to