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Essay / Dialogue: Russian Roulette - 1934
"Little Miss, Little Miss." Count to three Abby, count to three. Are you doing well. Nothing will happen to you. “Little Miss, Little Miss.” Count to ten, now Abby. Everything will be fine. He's not holding that gun, he's lying to you. It is not loaded. Are you doing well. “I never understand girls like you, Little Miss Abby.” He walks around me and hides my hand in his, untangling my clenched fingers and taking the strip of hundred dollar bills. “Wager your life, and for what?” He lowers his head to my neck and breathes slowly, and I know he's trying to make me lose my composure. "Little Miss Abby - a little cheap thrill? A chance to prove you're full of courage?" “Pull the trigger Tiger.” I purr and roll my head back to rest on his chest. “You’re the one who kills for a cheap dollar.” I smile and take my silver strip from his hands, tossing it into the middle of the table. "...and for what? A cheap thrill? A chance to prove you have the courage to pull the trigger?" I feel the barrel of the gun behind my head. One two three. He breathes slowly and I do the same. My fingers clutch at the few straws available to me. I run my fingers over the stripes that were left embroidered on the table. I'm trying to determine how much force it would take for anyone, man or woman, young or old, to force their way across a solid oak table. Then I remember the situation I found myself in. I was hooked. I was addicted to money and the ecstasy of winning. "I have power, and I can use this power of mine to take you down, and I could use this power to crucify myself. Do you know what I would choose every time, Little Miss?" I lift myself up and feel his weight shift behind me. There's a sneer in the middle of the paper...er with an element of pity, but with an underlying sadness, knowing that he or I are going to get a bullet through our skulls. I feel the barrel of the gun, once again on the back of my neck. He breathes heavily. “Who is the stupidest here, Little Miss?” The girl is afraid and suspicious of everyone and everything in the dark, but ready to risk her life for nothing. Or the man who fears the truth in plain light? Tiger growls, and I look over at him and with one glance I can see the anger radiating from his eyes. The trigger is pulled. He places his lips on my cheeks and lingers there for a moment. I feel tears streaming into my eyes. "Do you think I would be in this room, choosing between someone I love and my father if I wasn't involved?" He pauses and walks over to his father's side of the room. I look towards the window, where Orange is looking at me smugly.