The state of depression she experiences lasts quite a long time, during which time she turns to multiple sexual relations and then to hard drugs to try to feel better again. . Her sexual escapades came to a head when she had sex with three men in five days. She did this despite having a husband at the time, since she is married her actions are extremely questionable even though she is in a state of depression. She tries to explain her actions by saying, “I was trying to heal. I'm trying to get the bad out of my system so I can become good again. (Strayed, 36) She knows what she did was wrong, but she felt so upset inside that she felt the need to break free from the constant depression she was in. In the midst of the emotional storm, she felt that sex provided a way to escape from herself and her emotions. The reason she did this with men other than her husband could be a result of a lot of things she was feeling at the moment. When suffering from severe depression, people tend to do whatever they can to feel better, regardless of the consequences, they are already in such a horrible state of mind that they feel that their sadness cannot can't be worse than it already is. This may also be linked to her heroin use, she was using it because she thought it would make her feel good again. Heroin is a destructive drug that alienates the user from reality, which is why Strayed used heroin to escape the