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Essay / The downsides of acceptance as described in The Upsides of Being a Wallflower
The novel The Upsides of Being a Wallflower, written by Stephen Chbosky, depicts a series of characters who strive for acceptance and understood by others. Yet for the most part, they are constantly ridiculed or treated as a second option. The quote “we accept the love we think we deserve” (Chbosky 24) explains why people can always have something better, but choose to conform to what they receive primarily because of how they perceive themselves , among other factors. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay A person with low self-esteem will stay with someone who treats them unfairly because they believe that this is the treatment they deserved. On the other hand, someone who values themselves won't settle for less. The characters Charlie, Sam, and Patrick embody this idea perfectly due to the constant abuse they experience throughout the novel. Above all, Charlie's oppression is most evident through his interactions with his family and friends. He is constantly trying to make other people's lives better, or at least, more manageable. Yet what he doesn't realize is the harm he's causing himself. In the novel, Charlie's sister says, "I hate you." My sister said it differently than she said to my father. She really meant it with me. She really did it. ‘I love you,’ was all I could say in return” (Chbosky 26). This interaction between characters is a general representation of the relationships Charlie has with other characters. He will try to help and make others happy, but his actions ultimately backfire, leaving him with troubling consequences and broken relationships that he tries to repair. Another problem of his is that he puts himself in situations that are embarrassing, even heartbreaking, for him if it means that someone else will be happy. An example of this is when Charlie writes “I'm really in love with Sam and it hurts a lot” (Chbosky 47). He loves Sam, but is willing to let her be happy with someone else because he's content to have her close. You could say this is his hamartia, because Charlie will always put others before himself. Additionally, Sam's character is involved in a relationship in which her boyfriend likes her superficial side, not what's underneath. Craig, her boyfriend, is only with her out of fear of being alone, not because he actually loves her. He sees her through a perspective that makes her attractive to him, and doesn't see the beautiful person she is on her own. Charlie once commented on their relationship, saying, "I just think it's bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is." And I think it's bad when the most honest way for a boy to look at a girl is through a camera” (Chbosky 48-49). Sam is more invested in the relationship as it seems she thinks better of herself due to the fact that an older boy likes her, thus being worthy of love. She therefore accepts his love as it is, while knowing that his love does not reach the real her. Ultimately, Patrick's secret relationship with Brad is also troubling due to the fact that the love he has is considered unacceptable and forbidden. Even though he knew that getting caught would have disastrous consequences for both of them, he continued to see Brad even though he knew it was hurting him. Brad had a reputation to keep up, picking on girls and being a general sportsman. Patrick was more open and freer about his sexuality,.