George Eliot writes that a marriage is either a “progressive conquest or an irremediable loss of the union” (Eliot 832). In other words, marriage is a joint enterprise whose goal is to bring about the union of two distinct people. In Middlemarch, the "gradual" advancement toward union can be seen in the marriage of Mary Garth and Fred Vincy which only occurs when Mary forces Fred to become sufficiently developed as a person and choose a career that suits him . If either party refuses to contribute to the functioning of the marriage, the marriage will become one of mutual enmity like that of Lydgate and Rosamond Vincy. In this novel, a happy marriage can be said to encompass a broad enough perspective to know how the other person feels and a willingness to work together. The couples who are still together and happy at the end of the novel are the success stories, like Fred Vincy and Mary Garth and Ladislaw and Dorothea, all of whom have matured enough to know themselves and their partners well. Through the couples in the novel, Eliot shows that marriage is an endeavor that requires a perspective that includes the partner and provides adequate self-knowledge. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay To begin, Dorothea Brooke and Casaubon are a study in opposites as Dorothea loses control of herself in order to serve more completely Casaubon while Casaubon acts with little regard for Dorothea's own desires. Dorothea's feelings for Casaubon are influenced by her supposed wisdom and her hopes that this will allow her to become more educated and have a higher purpose in life. She wishes to be of constant use to Casuabon, weak and aging, by lending him her nineteen-year-old eyes to read. But this concern about Casaubon's wishes leads Dorothea to make the unwise decision to completely lose herself to Casaubon. Instead of pursuing her pet project of building more adequate housing for farm workers, Dorothea wishes to simply become Casaubon's assistant. In turn, she makes herself entirely dependent on him for her happiness and self-worth. When Casaubon chooses to exclude Dorothea, she no longer has anything to live for. After her marriage, Dorothea is often characterized as ruminating over her regrettable decision. She falls into a state of perplexity and self-catechism, asking herself: “Is it worth living?” (426). Previously, she had a personal desire to improve the world by building more suitable cabins. Dorothea needs a man's consent to build these cottages, because men hold the money and the land. Ironically, if Dorothea had married Sir Chettam, her willingness to cooperate with her partner could have made the cottage project a success. Casaubon is so adamant about his own interests that he neglects his union with Dorothea. Casaubon is “buried in books” (Eliot 447) and wishes to exclude Dorothea from his studies to the point of neglecting her during their honeymoon. Their marriage had a short courtship and therefore a weak basis for marriage. Eliot is inclined to view short courtships as providing an unstable basis for later marriage: "A mortal companion whose nature you know only through the brief entrances and exits of a few imaginative weeks called courtship, may, when seen in the continuity of marital companionship, will reveal itself as something better or worse than you have preconceived, but will certainly not appear quite the same” (Eliot 195). One needs time to learn the otherbefore striving to be united in him for the rest of his life. The marriage of Casaubon and Dorothea is of course a failure. Instead of face-to-face mediation, their marriage is cemented through letters. Casaubon reflects on the fact that the acquisition of Dorothea, prized as it is, does not make him happy, "his surprise that, although he had gained a charming and noble-hearted girl, he had not gained the pleasure" (Eliot 85). Likewise, Dorothea is unhappy and often broods over her unhappiness. Their encounters, however short, are tense because of their mutual discontent. During their first attempt at conversation, the hostility is very strong. Dorothea claims that Casaubon speaks to her "as if [she] were something he had to deal with" (Eliot 282). Despite Dorothea addressing the animosity between them, Casaubon's only response is to ignore it. the controversy evident in his marriage in favor of pursuing his own interests, saying that he has "neither the leisure nor the energy for that kind of debate" (Eliot 282 would refer to Casaubon paying attention to). Dorothea's stature or her personal needs within the union. The author's question: “but why always Dorothea? Was his point of view the only possible one regarding this marriage? can be answered by the fact that Casaubon's silence on marital matters means that he is less proactive in his attempt to better understand his wife's personality. The reader understands his point of view better. because her perspective does not stagnate and is less focused on herself. In the same way that Casaubon views Dorothy as an ornament, Lydgate and Rosamond view themselves as luxuries to be acquired and not as people. Rosamond is a person with personal quirks. He views Rosamond as a plant, and by “marrying her, he could give her a much-needed transplant” (Eliot 350). facilitate her union with him. However, Rosamond is entirely concerned with how financial circumstances affect her and her alone. Lydgate's lack of dedication to his own dreams ultimately led him to believe that he was a "failure: he had not done what he set out to do." do" (Eliot 835). Likewise, Rosamond views Lydgate not as a person but rather as an object. Rosamond wishes to meet and later marry Lydgate because he is a novelty she wishes to acquire." She was tired of the faces and figures to which she had always been accustomed - the various irregular profiles, the gaits and turns of phrase distinguishing these young men of Middlemarch. whom she had always known as boys” (Eliot 97). Their refusal to view each other as anything other than objects foreshadows their eventual inhumane treatment of each other. Rosamond and Lydgate's poor opinions of each other create an environment in which Lydgate ridicules Rosamond and she withdraws from him. Although very wise and persuasive, Rosamond never manages to gain her husband's respect. She purges her feelings from her own negligible existence within her marriage to Dorothea, claiming, “Tertius is so angry and impatient if I say anything” (Eliot 796). Rosamond grows accustomed to “inwardly wrapping her soul in a cold reserve” against any attempt at what she perceives as criticism (Eliot 792). Rosamond's happiness deteriorates because she is not allowed to express herself without insult. Lydgate is also unable to express himself as others think, "it is enviable to have such a charming wife" and he chooses to speak in superior terms to intentionally ridicule and perplex Rosamond (Eliot 835). Shortly before his death, Lydgate called Rosamond "his basil plant" andwhen she asks for an explanation, he does not explain the origin of the reference but only says that it flourishes “wonderfully on the brain of a murdered man” (Eliot 835). It is obvious that Lydgate views Rosamond as something that kills his intellectual advancement. After remarrying, Rosamond "often spoke of her happiness as a 'reward' - she did not say for what, but she probably meant that it was a reward for her patience with Tertius" (Eliot 835). Thus, Lydgate's lack of respect for Rosamond as a person causes her unhappiness. Because of their insufficient courtship and their mutual resolve not to attempt to understand each other, Lydgate and Rosamond condemn their marriage to perpetual unhappiness. Both refuse to reanalyze their situation and try to get closer. Lydgate does not view Rosamond as an intelligent creature and as this perspective is never adjusted, she withdraws from him. Their inability to value each other's strength leads to conflict within the marriage. Lydgate and Rosamond fail to work together to resolve the financial dilemma that causes a breakdown in their marriage. Their mutually negative opinions make Rosamond and Lydgate progressively unhappy. Unlike the marriage of Rosamond and Lydgate, the marriage of Dorothea and Ladislaw is based on a long and well-developed courtship that includes many trials. Their first meeting is one of total incomprehension of the meaning of each person's speech. Dorothea meets Ladislaw while he is painting and comments that the paintings are like a "Greek phrase...which means nothing to me" (Eliot 79). Hearing this statement, Mr. Brooke, rarely wise, exclaims: "Bless me, now, how different people are!" (Eliot 80). Mr. Brooke, who has lived with his niece for several years, knows that this is simply a comment about Dorothea. But her statement about her ignorance of art is considered by Ladislaw to be “a secret judgment” and “was certain that she found his sketch detestable” (Eliot 80). At present, Ladislaw and Dorothea have an infantile perspective of the world, discerning all events and thoughts of others as strictly related to themselves. They marry after a sufficiently long period of knowing each other and after both parties have had sufficient time to weigh the consequences of their relationship. An important part of what makes Dorothea and Ladislaw's marriage happy is that Dorothea is allowed to broaden her perspective before marrying. marry Ladislaw. She always wanted to do good for the world, but she abandoned the charitable causes of ostentatious cottage building to become an unknown benefactor of the new hospital. For Dorothea, at least, charity is something you do to feel good, not so much for the sake of others. She first lingers on a portrait, then looks out the window, realizing the life that exists outside of herself. After surprising Ladislaw and Rosamond, Dorothea has an unhappy night but then, "began to live again deliberately yesterday morning, forcing herself to dwell on every detail and its possible meaning" (Eliot 787). Dorothea becomes a better reader of people and considers their perspectives, asking herself, “Was she alone in that scene?” Was it just his event? (Eliot 787). Empirically, of course, the answer is no, she is not alone and this self-admonishment is proof that Dorothea has overcome her former view that this was her world. She now recognizes the desires of others and that events affect everyone involved. Her newly adjusted perspective allows Dorothea to recognize Ladislaw's motivations and relationships outside of the bond theymaintain. Dorothea and Ladislaw have a more successful marriage than the others due to their coordinated efforts and mutual acceptance before the marriage itself. Dorothea's wish to help humanity fails not because of Ladislaw's obstacles, but rather because of the construction of patriarchal authority and Casaubon's will that makes her choose between love and necessary funds to grant his charitable wishes. While it is true that "she could always have done something better", her inability to achieve her dreams is not due to self-neglect but rather a product of this period which prevented women from strive to have both a family life and a family life. dreams (Eliot 835). Ladislaw worries about Dorothea's possible regrets regarding their union. Ladislaw allows Dorothea to be self-oriented and has her own concerns such as her writing. They both voluntarily lose their status and wealth to move to a house in London. Their mutual dedication is undeniable. Dorothea abandons money and the proper effect of external convenience and the assent of public opinion. Will Ladislaw makes public proclamations of his love for her, such as “No other woman exists beside him,” a feeling that Dorothea inherently focuses inwardly (Eliot 778). He proves his love by depriving himself of his hometown for the sake of his happiness and the satisfaction of his own desires. A similar capacity for voluntary deprivation is observed in the marriage of the Bulstrodes, a couple whose relationship is not recounted but who demonstrate an uncanny capacity. perceive and empathize with others. Both Bulstrodes appear to be accomplished interpreters of public opinion and the effect of outside forces. At the town meeting which followed Mr Raffle's death, Bulstrode "since the first mention of his name had been going through a crisis of feeling", proof that he is perfectly aware of the fact that he is poorly esteemed by the people. other people in the room (Eliot 726). Mrs. Bulstrode is not warned of the negative opinion her husband now has in the community as an “imperfectly educated woman; she learns it by communicating with Mrs. Hackbutt (Eliot 749). Although her husband is scarred by scandal and public opinion means ostracizing him, Mrs. Bulstode stands by his side, speaking the simple words "Look, Nicholas," when he is in the deepest trenches. despair. The scandal is too ugly for Mr. Bulstrode or Mrs. Bulstrode. and both "shrank from words that would have expressed their mutual awareness", but through a well-developed understanding of each other, they communicate and sympathize with each other. A similar knowledge of both oneself and one's partner is what makes Mary and Fred's marriage different. Mary worked to develop distinct self-knowledge. Through self-examination, Mary has come to important conclusions about what is right for her, such as recognizing that she would not make a good schoolmaster. Mary Garth strives to maintain her personal happiness before her marriage. When confronted with the burning of Featherstone's will, Mary acts out of self-preservation and a belief in what is appropriate. She acts righteously despite the promise of more than enough wealth to pay off her family's debt caused by Fred. Mary's strength and knowledge of herself and Fred create the circumstances that allow them to have a happy marriage. She refuses to marry Fred until he has a career that suits him, because she realizes that pursuing a bad career endangers not only his happiness but hers as well. Instead of giving in to despair, Fred's respect. 1994.