John Gottman in his book argues that "a lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts inevitable in any relationship (p. 28)." In his arguments, John explores the relationship between interpersonal communication and marital satisfaction. In doing so, he advances two hypotheses aimed at addressing problems within a relationship. The first hypothesis is that there is a private messaging system between couples, which improves communication in a healthy marriage. The second hypothesis is that an unsatisfied married couple has a deficit in communication skills with each other. The second hypothesis is by no means new. In fact, it emphasizes communication as the cornerstone of any relationship. In his book, Gottman identifies four potentially destructive communication styles and coping mechanisms in addition to the signs of an impending divorce: the rough start, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, the floods and body language. However, to describe the destructive communication styles that directly contribute to a couple's feelings of disconnection, isolation, and estrangement, Dr. John effectively uses the metaphor of the Four Horsemen (p. 27), which depicts the end of time in the New Testament. identifies the first horseman as a criticism (p. 27). This includes character attacks and overall complaints (“You never…” or “You always…”). Criticism is different from simple complaints from either party about a specific situation or behavior. In fact, how couples express their discontent on a given topic is extremely important in determining the direction of a discussion. The second is contempt (p. 29). This refers to the use of sarcasm, mockery and a middle of paper ...... e other with an incident that demonstrates the trait, then the list is read. The third principle is learning to interact frequently (turning towards each other rather than moving away) (p. 75). According to Gottman, romance isn't fueled just by candlelit dinners, but by constantly interacting with your partner in different ways. In the final four principles, Gottman focuses on the importance of communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution (p. 99-264). In conclusion, Dr. John Gottman demonstrates how communication is vital in any relationship, not just marriage. Personally, I view a relationship as a mutual affair in which each party plays a role in maintaining it. In case of conflict with my partner, my plan is not to criticize, but to leave room for dialogue in order to establish the root cause of the conflict..