The causes of divorceThere are as many theories on this question as there are people proposing them. The usual explanations are communication, compromise, and commitment, and it's hard to disagree with them. Indeed, if both spouses were constantly able to communicate with each other, able and willing to compromise with each other, and 100% committed to their marriage, it's hard to see how it could fail. The thorny question, of course, is HOW do they promote communication, compromise and commitment? Here, the explanations differ. For those with a fundamental foundation of faith, the answer is clear. Marriages work if both spouses obey the principles of faith. For a more prosaic explanation, check out weddingbuilders.com, where therapist Willard Harley lays out a set of simple principles that any couple can use to help their relationship survive and thrive. The principle that creates the most stir among the groups I speak to is that of Cosmopolitan. magazine a few years ago, that the most reliable indicator of the success of a marriage is the extent to which the husband and wife have enjoyed close, long-term platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex before their meeting. about that, it makes sense. It's surprising how little time husbands and wives spend on truly romantic interaction. They will spend most of their married life having friendly relations. If one or both lack the essential skills or desire to do so, the marriage is unlikely to prosper. One thing close to my heart is how little impact adultery has on divorce, and I know I'm going against the grain here. . I constantly hear omniscient observers - many of whom are fundamentalist Christians - proclaim that if you look behind most divorces, you will find an adulterous affair somewhere. This may be partly true, as many divorces involve adultery, but I believe that adultery is a symptom and not a cause of most divorces. Adultery is a reaction to abuse, and it is a tool of abuse. Adultery is a legal trap, but I don't think it causes many divorces. I think the things that separate husbands and wives cause divorces..